I want to tell you a story about me being a very bad girl.

This time last year I did something ridiculously self-indulgent that made me feel SO ALIVE!

I was in Rome, and while I was there, I walked into the Dolce & Gabbana--- just steps away from the glamorous Piazza di Spagna-- and bought the purse I had been lusting over for years:

The quilted leather Devotion Bag: 2,000 EUROS of pure self-indulgence.

I had never seen myself as THAT kind of woman before (you know, Boujee) and in fact I secretly judged THAT kind of woman.

Desiring material things was superficial! Shameful! Disgusting! Unbecoming of a truly spiritual woman. You are a BAAAAAD GIRL for desiring such glamour and  frivolity!

(Those were the voices in my head around my D&G desires. Do you have voices like that?).

Training in deep feminine psychology  I learned the women we tend to judge the most are the very women we need to integrate the most IN OURSELVES, because they represent our shadow.

So my work was cut out for me:  Embrace my shadowy desire for that bag!

But I had a problem: 

Not long before Rome I had never even stepped foot in a store like D&G before because I couldn’t *see myself* as the kind of woman who belonged there. 

It was a big deal to do what I was about to do and parts of me were SCARED TO DEATH to walk into that store.

It felt so vulnerable! 

Exposing! 

A part of me was convinced they’d ask me to leave before I even had the chance to take out my credit card and prove to them I was legit.

The morning before my shadow-soul-adventure, I prepared myself emotionally and spiritually, using my one of a kind playfulness = power tools of feminine wholeness.

I didn’t try to “dress the part” of someone I thought fit Dolce & Gabbana better  than I did.  

Instead, I dressed in a way they lit me up… short red dress, embroidered leather jacket, baseball hat and old converse tennis shoes.

When I walked in, I was ready. Confidence and joy in my steps. I was filled up on my own weird-and-magical kind of awesomeness. I went straight to the bag I had been eyeing, no need to play coy. 

When the super-model shop girl approached me and asked if she could help, I didn’t turn her away defensively or run out of the store in embarrassment and shame. 

Instead I smiled, took a breath, and said yes, I’d like to look at this bag.

She asked if I would like sparkling water or espresso. I said Yes, both please. (Practicing worthiness and good receivership).

She escorted me to the lounge area of the shop and a handsome Italian man brought me what I asked for on a silver platter.

Literally. I was served my water on a silver platter.

It felt amazing.

Inside the little girl in me who LOVED to play FANCY was giddy, giddy, giddy. I gave her full permission to delight in my heart while the Emerging Woman in me took center stage.  She was poised and cool as she sipped her drinks, and snapped a few photos for the silver tray because, NO SHAME!

I enjoyed the experience thoroughly. And then I bought the bag.

And a wallet to match.

Because I can. 

I love my D&G Devotion Bag so much.

It was the most expensive thing I ever bought myself at the time. Now I spend the equivalent of a luxury handbag EVERY MONTH on high-end coaching, but a year ago, a $200 facial felt too much.

Truth be told, giving myself permission to become the kind of woman I used to judge healed deep things in me. Embracing my inner “boujee bad-girl” released the next level of inner peace and authentic spirituality.

I now allow myself to experience life on a silver platter when it's offered.

I now allow myself to walk into any shop in the world, knowing I belong simply because I belong to myself.  

That experience of owning myself (shadow and light) at Dolce & Gabbana last April was worth at least 10 years of psychotherapy…

And I have a pretty little purse to show for it!

It set in motion a new way of seeing myself and investing in myself.

More than material things, what lights me up is experiencing greater and greater freedom and power in the woman I am becoming...and passing on that capacity, creativity and fun to my clients.

Women now invest 5-figures to work with me because the results they get make it worth every penny... (Not only is the freedom to know, love and be oneself PRICELESS, but once the path of soul embodiment becomes clear, creating what you are here to create (and charging what you are worth) becomes INFINITELY easier.

Charging high-ticket for my programs now marks huge growth for me and my meek-girl-poverty-minded-Christian mindset. It was only a few years ago I felt icky-guilt asking for a $5 donation for my christian yoga classes.

Growth and expansion and change and permission is possible. 

Saying yes to greater possibilities around what it means to be a soulful, spiritual, integrated, embodied and powerful modern woman is what being an Emerging Woman is all about. 

Questions for self-inquiry:

Have you ever bought yourself something ridiculously expensive? 

How do you feel about investing in yourself? How much investing do you allow? What level is too much? 3 figures, 4 figures, 5 figures, 6 figures?

What is your Devotion Bag? What “superficial” or “shameful” desires do you secretly lust for?

Do you know what novel experiences (perhaps found in your shadow) your soul longs to experience to expand her sense of self?

If my story and these questions are awakening something in you (or triggering you?) I invite you to lean in.

Engage with me. Let me know on IG. <3

Grace & Peace,

Morgan

P.s Up until recently, my investments (including the purse) into self were put on a credit card. I didn’t have that kind of money sitting in the bank! But I stopped using a history of lack as an excuse. I had GREAT credit. And I decided my future self was worth the financial risk of betting on her. Deep down I knew she was good for every penny I “rented” from Visa. And she is!