Emotional Sobriety
I invite you now to say this with me:
“I am no longer available for things that make me feel like shit. I am on the path to emotional sobriety now!”
Which means saying you are no longer available for:
• feeling bad about having needs, desires
• just going with something your body is not a HELL YES for because you don’t want to “ruin the moment.”
• beating yourself up for how much you want or *don’t want* sex
• comparing yourself to other women
• trying to control something/someone that is not yours to control (ie. “Unless he is wearing diapers, you can’t change him.” )
• viewing sex as sin
• seeing your own sexuality as dirty
• making yourself wrong for wanting pleasure
• numbing out instead of sitting with your truth
• communicating your needs via a giant blow-up because you waited to long to express yourself
• hiding the women you are becoming/want to become to keep others feeling comfortable
Here is the truth:
• You don’t have to be flawless to feel beautiful
• you don’t have to be young to be worthy of your desires for being seen, loved, cherished & desired
• you don’t have to have a partner to own your sexuality
• you don’t have to wait to lose the weight before you feel confident, sexy and playful
• you don’t have to have it all figured out before start opening up
• you don’t have to spend 10 years in psychotherapy before you feel safe and sensual
• you don’t have to see x amount in the bank before you feel rich with possibility and belief in your own capabilities
• you don’t have to change any family member or romantic partner before you are free to change
All you need is to make a choice. Decide it’s time to gain mastery over your emotional health.
This is my deep wisdom and I claim it out loud now for all of us now in the name of emotional and spiritual and sexual health:
My heart is good. So is my body. When I feel good, I bring good to the world.
Today I'm choosing delight. To care less what others may/may not be thinking and be more mindful of how I'm feeling.
To trust what lights me up. Because it FEELS GOOD to trust what lights me up and me and all my feelings are friends again!
Old me: “If he/she/they understand me then I’ll be okay!”
Higher self: “Oh babe, they will never understand you. They don’t even understand themselves.”
How much energy do we expend worrying about or “trying to figure out” things or people or that are out of our control?
How much life do we waste trying to stay one step ahead of our fear of rejection...by people pleasing, playing small, or acting cute and safe instead of smart, sexy and powerful?
My current favorite definition of emotional sobriety comes from Allen Berger, Ph.D. He says:
“Emotional Sobriety is when the best of you does the thinking and talking for all the other parts of you.”
Imagine the life you can create when the best of you starts running the show! Now make time for the practice below this week to start making that a reality...
Simple Practice to Connect to the Best of You:
Step 1: Start up a conversation with God/Higher Power.
Step 2: Ask that power for a vision of your higher self.
Step 3: When the vision comes smile and receive her unconditionally loving and accepting gaze (she sees you and loves you right where you are! She is you! She is the future you).
Step 4: Ask your higher self for guidance. Simply say out loud or in your heart, what is my the next right step?
Step 5: Listen
Step 6: Honor what you heard by going and doing the next right thing.
It may take time, but answers always come. Connecting daily and meaningfuly to your higher self, best self, God, is essential when it comes to emotional sobriety.
Trust the process and follow whatever promptings you receive (especially if it seems unrelated to what you think you need).
It may begin as just a tiny prompt, like “drink a big glass of water,” or “make bread with your daughter.”
Honor every nudge. The trust will build. And more guidance will come.
Emotional Sobriety is deeply connected to our spiritual and sexual health . I hope the thoughts, inspiration, and practices above are helping bring this new concept to life. It has been huge in my wholeness work the last 6 months, and I know it can benefit yours greatly, too.
Grace & Peace,
Morgan