Anatomy of a Sexy Selfie

Not all selfies are created equal. Not all selfies are healing. Sometimes selfies don’t serve us at all.

I’ve taken plenty of this kind of selfie. And there is no judgement on you if you have too. Its part of the process— the messy, complicated part where we untangle ourselves from the patriarchy and see ourselves as subjects again instead of objects, free to be unconventional in our beauty, instead of only stereotypes.

And this is easier said than done. Because it’s not black and white— it’s a matter of power and heart, function and intention.

For instance, when a woman belongs to herself, and owns her sexuality, stereotype is transformed into archetype.

However, when a woman is searching for herself in a man’s gaze alone, or societies small frame of beauty, the Divine Feminine becomes a mud flap girl.

I want you to understand that you hold the power. And you continue to hold that power until you give it away. But even if you have given it away knowingly or unknowingly you can still take it back.

That’s what healing your gaze is about. That’s what we get to do through this very “of our time” practice of the sexy selfie .

We get to become students of ourself. Curious about our own culture. Critical thinkers of our own life. Intellectuals and priestesses of sex. Mindfully considering what we do and why we do it.

Why?

Because we are into being smart, not just sexy. And we get that this is bigger than just being able to take a hot photo. This is about taking our power back.

The problematic thing about this photo is that I know the full woman wasn’t present. She disappeared her deeper self to fit neatly in the “Maxim Magazine” box. She became a stereotype in hopes to please someone else. And that ain’t sexy.

I share this with you not to encourage you to judge other women/yourself, but to appreciate the nuance of it all... and to know it’s okay to be