What’s wrong with me?

I’m extremely aware of what others think of me-- family, coworkers, online followers, even a stranger at a gas station. Worrying about how someone might see me or judge stops me from really going for it, i.e. dressing up, looking sexy, speaking my truth, charging what I’m worth, etc.

My desire for sex all but disappeared. I’ve spent all these years taking care of everyone around me. All I feel now is numb.

When I imagine being a “POWERFUL WOMAN” I freeze. Confident women who own who they are trigger me and I know it’s because I see in them something I am made for, too, but have no idea how to access my own power.
Even though I *know in my head* I am meant for MORE, I can’t get away from these voices of shame and self-doubt.
I fear if I “trust my body” and her desires, I will become someone I don’t recognize. What will happen if I actually do become more whole and free as a woman? I’m afraid what my healing might mean for my relationships.
When my partner initiates sex I cringe inside and pull-away.
I’ve tried traditional counseling and therapy, but I’m still longing for a freedom I can’t describe, but believe is there.
I’ve worked so hard at self-help and feel no different deep down…there something wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you.