It took awhile. This “making peace with being judged” thing.

I turned 41 on Sunday and one of the things I'm most proud of in the woman I've become is the permission I've given myself to be all the things.

...And to celebrate being all the things with unapologetic self-expression.

I’m still learning how to dissolve the armor around my heart when it comes to trusting other women will accept me and support me, but I've made major strides. In large part thanks to the students and clients who have been with me over the long haul of my life online and have become real-life friends.

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I work with a lot of women who feel it’s easier to be a safe place for others than to find a safe place for themselves.

Do you feel that way too?

That’s why we need this tribe.

Here are some notes from my journey, encouragement from your big sister…

Criticism and judgment from others hurt more in the beginning when I thought I needed someone else’s permission or praise to feel okay celebrating who I am.

People can like this or not:

• I am a woman who loves God and sexy selfies.

• I am a woman who has been studying Eastern wisdom traditions for 20+ years and gets closer to Jesus every year.

• I am a woman who delights in mothering her babies and sexy date nights with her husband.

• I am a woman who has cultivated a masterful ability to shapeshift— from Mother to Lover, from Guide to one needing guidance, from CEO to Sacred Fool.

I believe “shapeshifting” is part of our divine feminine brilliance and something that scares that heck out of the patriarchy because it means we can’t be pinned down or put in one box.

For the past 2,000 years, women have only been given two options, Mother or Whore. But as any woman who has acquainted herself with her own soul knows, there are for more than just two facets to her Beingness and to hell with choosing only one.

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I see a future where we’ve written a new story around the “holy woman.” A version of holy that reflects wholeness, not “holier-than-thou-ness.”

A new kind of womanhood that celebrates women being all the things she desires.

When I first started sharing my “sexy selfies” on IG it was the Spirit that led me and gave me the courage I needed. “Go for it. And when you do,

SEEK TO SERVE NOT TO BE UNDERSTOOD.”

I knew there were stereotypes that needed to be challenged (i.e. the stereotype of the “Good Christian Wife & Mother”) and boxes to be danced on.

I desired freedom and fun at the intersection of sexuality and spirituality and I wanted it for all of us women.

I decided the easiest way for others was to become a signpost myself.

As I continue to travel along the Arc of My Own Becoming (in Christian speak, “Sainthood”) and gather more and more inspiration and momentum from the women who choose to travel with me, I know we are doing our healing work for generations backward and forward in time.

I see the level of freedom and self-confidence in my 8-year old daughter and I often hear from clients how their healing journey has inspired their mother's.

This path that I call “feminine wholeness” is not without trial or resistance or moments of self-doubt, but this you can absolutely trust:

The more and more you reclaim from the shadows, the easier and easier it becomes to show up in your light.

In Life of the Beloved, Henry Nouwen asks, “What would it like look like if you lived out of the truth that you are a Beloved of God?”

Meditating on that early in my journey I knew:

I could not move forward owning my belovedness and continue living in fear of other people’s opinions. I had to make a choice.

Would I choose the path of reclaiming it all (full-expression around my unique feminine wholeness) or would I choose the well-worn path “they” laid out for me?

My rebellious and optimistic spirit made the choice for me. I wanted nothing less than full-embodiment and expression of womanhood on my terms, my unique feminine wholeness.

I wanted this for my own enjoyment, for my daughter's empowerment, and for you. Your freedom and wholeness.

So I made peace with being judged. I locked eyes with Love and prayed my mantra, “May I seek to serve, not seek to be understood.”

I continue to pray these words. Nearly every time I post or share anything, actually.

Ladies, we don’t have time to collect everyone’s votes, post by post. Who is in favor of me now? Who is not? Who claps and likes my sexy selfies? Who rolls their eyes and unfollows?

It’s time now to envision a new kind of womanhood. Womanhood where we get to reclaim it all, embody it all, and shine it all in the name of wholeness.

Does your whole being light up at this idea? To be a part of a community of women who are dedicated to their own unique expression of feminine wholeness? To be so exquisitely encouraged and supported you could not fail?

If so, it's my honor to invite you to check out The School of Feminine Wholeness and explore which of the three programs might be perfect for you in 2021.

Grace & Peace