What makes a woman feel incredible?
What would it feel like if you could walk into the next room, or outside on the street, and absolutely know that all parts of who you are belong?
You would feel incredible.
And so much lighter and alive.
Because the burden of constantly judging yourself and deciding what part of you is acceptable based on who you are with would be gone.
You would probably laugh way more, too, because nothing would be holding you back from your original essence of joy.
And sex with your husband? Holy cow, it would be the best it's ever been!
Because when we aren't worried about who approves of us and who doesn't (or what part of our body is beautiful and what part isn't) it frees us up to just be ourselves and enjoy the moment.
(And a woman's ability to enjoy the moment will always be her magic key to the best sex she's ever had-- or the best day of her week).
After the experience I shared with you last week (that one about dancing naked in a group of 50 women) I have no doubt that if women could spend more time feeling that all parts of who they are belong-- from their spirituality to their sexuality-- the world would be a much healthier, happier, and more incredible place.
And...sex and marriage would be too!
I didn't share this with you last week but I want to share it with now (if you hate TMI, skip a few paragraphs):
The day after I got back from my week away my husband and I had the best sex we've had all year.
And it wasn't just because I had been away. I travel a lot and we are used to spending a week apart. And sex is always fun when we reunite, but this sex was more than fun.
We tried things we never tried before and instead of feeling shut down by shame, I melted into pleasure.
I felt the fullness of who I am as a woman-- soft, sensual, powerful, intuitive, embodied, earthy, feeling-- meet the fullness of who he is as a man.
There was safety in being with him in this incredibly intimate (surrendered!) way, but not because he had changed while I was away, but because I had.
What divine force allowed the full range of who I am as a woman-- from my sexuality to my spirituality-- to feel a new level of safety in the arms of my man?
Same force that allowed me to dance naked in a group of women without feeling too much or not enough!
Again, I can't prove it, but my body tells me it's the sacred feminine.
The sacred masculine is sexy and wonderful too (so wonderful!), but for me right now, it's the sacred feminine that is making me come alive to the fullness of who I am as a woman.
And that makes perfect sense to me because I am a woman.
So what is this sacred feminine?
Not to be evasive, but I think it's a question each women ultimately get's to answer for herself. Because one thing the sacred feminine is not is a set of rules or absolutes. The sacred feminine is also not another religion. She is not a goddess you worship or a conspiracy you buy into.
Here is what I can say...
I know the sacred feminine is in the room when
- all parts of who I am feel safe to be seen
- competition and criticism gives way to good-humor and celebration
- the emphasis is on being rather than doing, feeling rather than thinking
- their is an orientation towards community and equality (instead of "me! me! me!" and hierarchy)
- things feel soft, interconnected, and synchronistic (instead of hard and linear)
- my intuition feels alive and I feel at home in my body
- my hips wants to move in circles and spirals
- I'm hearing unscripted praises, creative blessings, belly laughter and wild howls
I'm still exploring all things sacred and feminine. Just this week I've ordered 4 new books from amazon. But as I explore I am doing a lot of tuning into my gut. Because there is a lot under the umbrella of "divine feminine" that doesn't feel authentic to me or quite right. I encourage you to check-in with yourself, too. Feel into what feels grounding to you, because the true sacred feminine is a very grounding force, bringing you closer to your own hidden wholeness within, never farther away.
So here is my encouragement to you this week:
- Pay attention to your body. Feel into all it's sensations. Notice when there is ease and notice when their is dis-ease. Are their sensations that return to specific areas in the body that let you know when something isn't quite right or when something is? Sensations feel like warm or cool, pressure or heaviness, tingling, pulsing, rushing, etc.
- Bring out your journal: What parts of you long to be seen and known? What would it take for you to feel absolutely safe and loved sharing those parts of who you are?
- Get out in nature. Do some earthing. Walk barefoot on the grass or dirt or sand. Ground down and into your own body.
- Move your hips. Wake up with morning hip circles or cat-cows...and do them naked. ;)
Next week I share some thoughts on how we can reconcile our cultural and religious conditioning with this divine feminine stuff. Because it's important to acknowledge the blocks.
My intention is to bring compassion and curiosity to help us wade through our questions and fears so that we can feel that ALL PARTS OF WHO WE ARE BELONG! And...inspire you to give yourself more personal permission to lean into what gives you life. (On that note, if you have one top of mind, hit reply and share! I'll try to address them all next week).
May you feel incredible this week. May you let this gentle exploration into the sacred feminine become a personal invitation to know yourself more and unveil your wholeness.
Cheering you on with sweet praises and wild howls,
Sexy on Your Own Terms
On Friday in the Sophia Sessions I did a class (by my Sophia's request!) on "How to Take a Sexy Selfie." It was so much fun! The emphasis was on feeling sexy on your own terms and allowing your authenticity to fuel your beauty...whether you share that photo with your hubs or keep it just for yourself. ;)
If you aren't in the Sophia Sessions yet because you don't know what it is, you can find out more here. If you've been on the fence, and need a little extra incentive to join, use coupon code SFSUMMER to save $60. (You get ALL the previous months content-- hours and hours of teaching on feminine wholeness, yoga + meditation videos, hilarious and educational Q&As, plus all the great community support and new stuff coming from now until the end of the year for only $110).
Supreme Agreement with Love
I love talking about feminine wholeness with other women! And Joanna Platt of the Love Always, Jo podcast, is so amazing (she could work on NPR). In this episode I got to share with her so many of my favorite things--like being in supreme agreement with love, why bird sounds are really good for your sex life, the importance of loving your belly, getting in alignment with your highest values and your deepest desires, the connection between spirituality and sexuality, and more. I hope you enjoy!